Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Claiming to be an urban legend is a pretty serious boast. But Mr. Rubber Band Man at the very least has credentials on his resume: in fact, the iron that he's been holding in both hands recently nearly consisted of jailbars. And the charges related to that nine in his left, .45 in his other hand at that.

Trap Muzik, released in 2003, was his second album, but it was the first under a major label and the first with mainstream exposure. Then T.I. was sentenced to a lengthy prison term this past April. But like any other affluent individual, the justice system was no match. So it was time to release the next album.

So is T.I. an Urban Legend or will this album leave me wishing he got those three years that just about any other urban dweller would currently be serving?

Tha King

Wow, track one is, get this, an actual song. That was starting to seem like a novelty.

This beat is nice. But T.I. doesn't seem to match the beat with his flow, his hook's catchy. This is certainly nothing special, but it's practically a standout compared to the album intros I've recently been subjected to.

Motivation

This beat sounds like Lil Jon on prozac. T.I. hits a lot of double rhymes but rhyming A Town with face down isn't exactly something worth commending.

U Don't Know Me

At the end of his Bring Em Out video, T.I. cuts to a short excerpt of this track, a 30 second hook. At the end of every line T.I. says you don't know me. Watching T.I. do this routine in a video, he gets so animated while he says "you don't know me" that the unintentional comedy scale is off the charts. The result is what you'd expect out of someone who had just been told his life depended on getting an Academy Award in a 30 second clip.

ASAP

Here's how T.I. explains this track in his own words:

"'ASAP' is basically saying if anybody contests my rulership or tries to deny me my just due then I'm gonna address it… I will spare no expense on your ass."

I can only infer a big no homo at the end of that quote.

At this point in the album, I'm somewhat surprised at how mundane the production is, considering that these tracks are being done by a vast array of different producers. Even if T.I. was lyrically innovative, which he simply isn't, this production would be his downfall.

Prayin For Help

Thanks for the Lord's Prayer...T.I. asks why someone who's done so much can be treated so unjust. I don't know exactly what T.I. has done besides sold a few hundred thousand albums and caught cases involving firearms and drugs. The fact that he's out of jail is probably the unjust aspect of this whole story.

This track's the best one so far. The production finally tones down and lets T.I. do his thing. Regardless of how sincere or proper this plea is, T.I.'s flow is extremely steady, a refreshing change from the last Southern rapper I listened to.

So far, less has been best regarding the production.

Why U Mad At Me

T.I. chops up his flow to improve his rhymes. Lyrically he's better, but his flow is so wack (especially on Verse 2) that it just doesn't work. Nas he is not.

Get Loose, featuring Nelly

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...* Those 3 words, the calling card of Jazze Pha, have become the bane of my ears. Jazze's done a few good beats here and there, but this one isn't one of those.

Bringing Nelly on was probably a good move. Not because it makes the song better, which it obviously doesn't (and no guest could save this song anyway). But bringing Nelly on helps sell while also reminding any objective listeners that T.I. is clearly a superior rapper.

What They Do, featuring B.G.

B.G. was probably brought in just to reassure T.I. that no matter how many cases he catches, things could be more fucked up. I have no idea if B.G., who literally pissed away his spot on Cash Money, is still a heroine addict, but it doesn't matter. He still sounds as strung out as always.

It's times like these that make me wonder how and why guys like B.G. are always going to be richer than me.

The Greatest, featuring Mannie Fresh

Mannie Fresh's antics in the first 30 seconds are some of the weirdest things I've ever heard in the prelude of a track.

This is a pretty dull beat for Mannie. T.I.'s flow is solid yet again.

Get Ya Shit Together, featuring Lil Kim

This features Lil Kim doing the hook. That's all she does, and it's the only thing that makes this track mediocre instead of brutal.

Freak Though, featuring Pharrel

This beat is hard to describe, outside of unique. T.I.'s flow is his strongest suit, and this track features his best flow yet, T.I. is clearly in his element rapping about sex, no homo.

Does anybody sound like a bigger homosexual on wax than Pharrel? He hits notes like Michael Jackson during a castration.

Countdown

T.I. can count down from 5 to 1, thus the title. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 you're done when I see you" is one of the most simplistic hooks I've ever heard.

R Lee Ermey would dig this track: it sucks so hard it could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Bring Em Out

This track is and will continue to be a successful and popular club anthem. T.I. really elevates his game on this track; it sounds like he put more effort into this track than the rest combined.

For awhile there, Swizz Beats had fallen off like Bob Dole at a rally. But this was a pretty solid effort.

Limelight

If T.I. didn't reside in a region where rappers like the Hot Boys are considered critically acclaimed, he wouldn't garner the little limelight he currently does.

Chillin With My Bitch, featuring Jazze Pha

T.I.'s only tolerable when his flow is at a moderate pace and remains steady. This is the opposite of that.

Jazze Pha does the hook. Like usual, Jazze's voice is about as harmonious as Gail Devers using a chalkboard.



Are those bastards aerodynamic or something?

Stand Up

Considering this prominently involves Lil Jon, the beat's tamer than Maynard's and Zed's Gimp.

If I found a Christina Aguilera in a bottle, my 3rd wish (after asking for immense riches and limitless rounds with her) would be to to know what goes on in the studio that makes Trick Daddy whine and cry at the end of his lines on so many tracks. If I was forced to guess, my first guess would be that someone is plucking his asshairs one by one while he's on the mic. The last time I heard something this pathetic out of a black man, Kobe was giving a press conference in the Staples Center concerning a hotel clerk.

My Life, featuring Daz Dillinger

*All Eyez On Me.* We came so far without a reference to Pac or a Pac sample, but T.I. just couldn't resist.

Does Daz go anywhere without cocaine these days? This guy's attached to blow like Joe and Domino are to fats.

I guess something could be said for the fact that T.I.'s not a terrible emcee. In fact, when he puts the effort in, he approaches decency. And when you factor in the region, that talk about being the 21st century King of the South is only ridiculous instead of out of this world absurd.

In my effort to find a really good Southern artist besides Face, the search will have to continue.