Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

The NBA's free agency period can certainly take weird turns, like Joe Johnson demanding a trade to a team that won 40 less games than his team the season before.

But I can't remember anything more ridiculous than this Michael Finley bullshit that's been going on since the Mavs cut him under the new amnesty tax.

Under the new amnesty rule, the Mavs were allowed to cut Finley and save what would amount to 25 million in luxury tax fees over the next few years. Now there's no doubt that 25 million is an unbelievable amount of money.

It just happens to be a very believable amount of money for one



The creature shown above has spent millions every year tinkering with the Mavericks, taking on salaries like Raef Lafrentz and Antoine Walker, in the hopes of propelling Dallas over the top of the West. Sure, it didn't work out, but with the acquisition of Terry/Dampier last year and the multiple signings of people this year like Jackie Doug Christie, obviously the Mavericks are still trying to win.

So if the Mavericks are trying to get over the hump in the West (nhjic), why would they release their starting 2 guard, a captain of their team and the longest tenured player on the team?



It's because the men pictured above are more washed up than Natalee Holloway. The reason Dallas cut Finley is because Finley stinks. The guy has become a total bricklayer who still shoots almost 15 times a game, and he has averaged about 3 rebounds and 2 assists in 36 minutes the past few years. Dallas cut Finley because he was ineffective. Anytime you're replaced by Doug and Jackie, you know you're sliding down the slippery slope.

So what happens to the player who was replaced by the Christies? A guy so washed up that Biggie would be crafting God knows how many "played out" rhymes about him? Apparently what happens is every team that thinks they can win the title believe Michael freaking Finley is the vital, missing cog that can get a team a victory parade in June.

But not only are all these teams lining up to try to get Finley. Finley is literally having suitors come to him to meet in Chicago and give him their sales pitch. This overrated son of a bitch had the gall to force superstars like the Big Ticket and Amare Stoudemire to come to him and basically grovel for his services. Here's a list of the teams that are gunning for Finley and have the best chance to secure his 40% shooting.

Miami: I would have sworn Dwyane Wade was a 2 guard, but apparently I'm wrong, because they're the favorites to sign Finley. Again, you can just see the catstrophic meltdown coming.

Detroit: Explain to me how Michael Finley fits in a backcourt with Rip or Chauncey? Does he take minutes from Tayshaun?

Phoenix: They could actually use a 2 guard, except Finley is basically Jim Jackson without the 3 point consistency.

San Antonio: I figure they're trying to get Finley simply because they can, and because making Finley play like 20 minutes and winning the title will be more challenging.

Denver: The Nuggets are apparently trying to sign Finley or Sprewell...I don't like their chances in the West.

I can guarantee right now that whichever team takes Finley will not make it to the NBA Finals this next season.

Since I actually have to work, and I still have to study, my time has been limited to the extent that I haven't been posting too frequently here. In the event that the trend does continue, the 3 of you who come to this page regularly can still see what's current events in the Bloggystyle atmosphere through a series of "burning questions" posted hopefully weekly.

Anyway on to this week's Bloggystyle Burning Questions:

What's faker: Lance Armstrong's Tour results or Tara Reid's tits?

Real Worlder Uday's corpse (no necro just in case) Lacy stunned the world by introducing her parapalegic boyfriend Ryan on an episode a week ago. Which works worse: Ryan's legs or Ryan's eyes?

What's smaller: Rafael Palmeiro's steroids shrunk dick (major no homo) or Deuce Bigalow's market share?

Who should have pulled out first: the Israelis out of Gaza or Keven Federline's father?

What will bomb worse: the "revamped" Miami Heat or a Palestinian Arab?

Who's the truest warier: Cindy Sheehan's son or this man?

After admitting that I don't know enough about the NFL to be competitive, the fantasy gods mocked me even more by assigning me the #9 spot out of 10 teams for our league draft. Even I would have been able to get Manning or Tomlinson with a Top 2 pick, but no go.

Instead, here's how my draft went, in this order.

McGahee
McNabb
Horn
Hines Ward
Drew Bennett
Chris Brown
Wiggins
Atlanta
Keyshawn
Vinatieri
McNair
Bettis

And a few other assorted dregs in the late rounds, including ultra sleeper Bubba Franks, who reported the day after the draft.

In a league where the Top 4 teams make the playoffs, I don't think I'll have to follow this team too closely.

Admittedly, I'm not a big NFL fan and when I joined a fantasy football league consisting of various roomates/friends, it was only the second fantasy football league I had ever played in.

After last year's draft, I thought I had compiled a pretty good team consisting of Bulger/Ahman Green/Travis Henry in the backfield, with Torry Holt/Rod Smith/Jeremy Shockey as receivers/tight end and Baltimore's Defense.

In otherwords, my team was the ultimate underachiever.

Tomorrow is the fantasy football draft day and I have to make amends. I'll make it possible for everyone to laugh at me by posting what I believe is the Top 5 at each position.

Quarterbacks

When Bulger slid throughout last year's draft and everyone but me had picked a starting quarterback, I figured I had pulled a major coup (nhjic) to get Bulger in the middle rounds. I was wrong; meanwhile Peyton Manning all but carried a team to a Top 3 finish.

This year it's pretty plain from a fantasy perspective, and I realize that this position can be more important than running back.

1 - Peyton Manning
2 - Daunte Culpepper
3 - Don McNabb
4 - Brett Favre
5 - Trent Green

Like in real life, I'm sure Tom Brady will be severly overrated and will be one of the first 5 quarterbacks picked. But, no homo Juelz Santana, while Brady rides Bill Belichick to championships in real life, he leads fantasy football teams to the cellars.

Running Backs

Last year, Tomlinson and Holmes were the Top 2 picks. With #3, I took Ahman Green. In addition to being a Packer, no homo, Green had amassed about 2300 combined yards and double digit TDs in 2003. In 04, he amassed about 1600 combined yards and 8 touchdowns. That was good for about the 15th most fantasy points by a running back, barely finishing behind renowned running backs Warren Dung Dunn and Reuben Droughns.

1 - LaDanian Tomlinson
2 - Priest Holmes
3 - Shawn Alexander
4 - Tiki "Needs No Thunder" Barber
5 - Willis McGahee

Wide Receivers

If there's anything I'm certain about, it's that the two wide receivers who happen to provide the most tumultuous offseasons every year will come with it during the regular season, no homo.

I actually think Moss will rub it in the Vikings' face by having a ridiculously good year. And regardless of his theatrics, I figure Owens will put up his usual numbers.

1 - Randy Moss
2 - Terrell Owens
3 - Marv Harrison
4 - Javon Walker
5 - Chad Johnson

The 5 spot is a pretty tough call, but Mush Muhammad and Chad Hutchinson? Drew Bennett, last I checked, is still white. No Homo Juelz Santana, I don't trust Nate Burleson or Marcus Robinson.

Tight Ends

(No Homo)

Tony Gonzo is usually a consensus first pick as far as TEs are concerned, but I figured Shockey was a solid second last year. Then he had his worst year ever, Antonio Gates pretty much emerged from obscurity, and I had yet another underachiever lining up every Sunday.

1 - Tony Gonzalez
2 - Antonio Gates (who is signing the 1 year "tender" offer after all)
3 - Algae Crumpler
4 - Jason Witten
5 - Jeremy Shockey

What an ugly list, no homo.

Defenses

I was the first person to take a defense last year, making the obvious selection of Baltimore. That was my only "correct" pick of the entire draft, since Baltimore scored a bunch of defensive touchdowns, gave up relatively few points and had the likes of Ray Lewis and Ed Reed.

1 - Baltimore
2 - Pittsburgh
3 - Buffalo
4 - New England
5 - Philadelphia

Kickers

Somehow I ended up with John Carney last year, probably figuring the Saints would score a lot of points. I didn't know at the time that Aaron Brooks had a propensity for throwing the ball backwards and other various retardation issues. Meanwhile, I had David Akers throw a touchdown against me, Vinatieri and Elam make every kick and have Carney finish near last in everyday kickers.

1 - Akers
2 - Vinatieri
3 - Elam
4 - Longwell
5 - Vanderjagt

So there is my fantasy football mock board. If that wasn't funny enough, I'll update the site with my fantasy football roster shortly after the draft, since I'm pretty much going to wing it without preranking players.

I'd almost have some faith in their playoff chances.

Last year, the Clippers played Marko Jaric, an inconsistent 6'7 Euro who could put up 18/6/8/3 one night and 5/2/5 the next. But, no homo Juelz Santana, since he's lengthy , a good defender and a ballhandler, he was actually a hot commodity as a restricted free agent this offseason, flirting with a number of teams like the Cavaliers and Heat.

One thing was certain; Jaric wasn't going back to Los Angeles. Which is why it's surprising that the Clippers not only got something for him, but they actually robbed the Timberwolves, trading Jaric and no name Lionel Chalmers for a lottery protected first round pick (which could easily become the next Marko Jaric), and Bloggystyle's favorite baller, Sam Cassell.



Had this trade been made straight up, the Timberwolves would have been getting the shaft. Clearly their window had closed after the conference finals loss to the Lakers two seasons ago, and being from Milwaukee makes it easy to understand the level of Cassell's headcase issues, but this trade certainly doesn't propel them forward or even help them rebuild.

The Clippers have had bad luck in the past two seasons, or they would have been on the cusp of the 8 seed both years. Clearly they want to win now, which would be the first time in forever, and Cassell will instantly help them. With the loss of Bobby Simmons to the Bucks, the acquisition of Cassell will make it possible to slide Livingston and Maggette to the 2 and 3 respectively. And while Cassell may be 34 or 35 already, his game is methodical, ploddingly slow and based on perimeter accuracy. I still believe him when he talks about longevity (nhjic), because those traits are not going to fail him in a year or two.

I think the trade will make the Clippers leapfrog the Timberwolves in the conference standings next year. Barring any major surprises, transactions or injuries in the West (and no, Michael Finley signing with a team like Phoenix or Denver will not make a big enough difference), here is how I think the West seeding will shape up.

1 - San Antonio
2 - Phoenix
3 - Denver
4 - Dallas
5 - Houston
6 - Sonics
7 - Clippers
8 - Grizzlies

All summer, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, one of the all time NBA losers in terms of team winning %, tried to work his way onto one of the all time losingest teams in NBA history in the New Jersey Nets. In addition to playing in a sewer, no homo Juelz Santana, Shareef was poised to find himself teaming up down low with Nenad Krstic, which certainly meant gaudy rebounding numbers at the very least.

Abdur-Rahim was so intent on going to the Nets that he turned down a 47 million dollar offer from the Bucks, who promptly spent it on Bob Simmons. Meanwhile, Shareef and his agent worked furiously to pull off a trade by which Rahim could make at least half of the Bucks offer.

And Portland almost pulled it off, until Abdur-Rahim's gimpy body failed a physical. Shareef, of course, was hurt most of last season with a bad elbow; that's a fine combination of injuries for a post player. The Nets promptly nixed their trade and took their draft picks back.

You'd think it was looking bad for Abdur-Rahim's chances after that failed physical. Shareef knew he could only turn to one team. A team renowned for putting chronically gimpy power forwards in the spotlight. A team that makes it cool for a power forward who can't dunk.


As always, the Associated Press finds a way to work itself into a frenzy when dissecting the impact of Abdur-Rahim's addition to the Sacramento Kings for about 5 million a year, half of what the Bucks offered. Who wants to play alongside Bogut, Redd, Mason and TJ Ford when you can play alongside "high-scoring" Bonzi Wells?

The veteran forward has never reached the playoffs -- but that seems likely to change with the Kings, who added him to a starting lineup that now could be one of the NBA's strongest.

Abdur-Rahim joins a projected starting lineup with Wells, Mike Bibby, Peja Stojakovic and Brad Miller, along with Kenny Thomas, Corliss Williamson, Brian Skinner and new signees Jason Hart and Jamal Sampson on the bench.

If we were talking about 1998 Abdur-Rahim, 2003 Peja Stojakovic, 2002 Mike Bibby and anyone besides Skinner/Thomas/Williamson/Wells, then I'd see the AP's point.

Instead, I think the Kings have a very good chance of not making the playoffs. Moreover, I also expect that Abdur-Rahim will miss at least 20 games next year. I even think the Kings would be better served to start Thomas at 4, Abdur-Rahim at 3 and bring "high-scoring" Bonzi Wells off the bench.

Even at best, the Kings will not finish ahead of San Antonio, Phoenix, Dallas or Houston.

I've already gone off countless numbers of times about the fat bitches that work in my department of the bank, but there's one in particular that kept catching my eye. And I couldn't figure out why.

Until now.

During the first week, I was pretty much overwhelmed by all the fat bitches until names started being placed on each 300 pounder, and soon they were all pretty much the same. But everytime I'd cross paths with this one fat Indian girl, she would always stare me down. For the past few weeks, I just figured that she was doing it because I was pretty much a forbidden piece of white meat restricted from her use by her religion and ever expanding wasteline.

But then I figured out who it was, which brings me to one of the funnier/weirder things I experienced in college.

During my freshman year, I knew a couple of people in the Lambda Chi Alpha frat house, and I went to a few parties there during the first semester. And on one uneventful Saturday, I and a few other people got the call to head on over there to watch a Case Race.

For the Case Race, they had 3 teams of Lambdas, 5 to each team with 30 domestics of some sort. But there was also a sorority team of 6 girls who had only 24 beers. Obviously I figured one of the Lambda teams would win because there were plenty of fat losers in the frat who did nothing but man style drinking, nhjic.

So it took all of us by surprise when the sorority team was winning handily. The first problem was that most of the Lambdas had pregamed, so a bunch of them were puking by beer #3 or 4. But the Lambdas also had another problem; the same problem that I have to see on a daily basis now.

Sure enough, the fat Indian bitch at the bank was literally and figuratively the anchor of the girls' team. All the other girls were normal size and normal pussy drinkers, but this fat Indian bitch was putting beers down at a ridiculously scary pace. Eventually, the sorority team won the case race in about 20 minutes, with every Lambda team trailing considerably.

The fat Indian bitch had drank 10 of the 24 beers in that time. And it didn't even seem to faze her: the sorority team gloated, talked shit and took a "victory" picture before departure.

And now, of course, the fatty is my problem every day.

Much like the Steve Nash debate, Fitz disagrees with my analysis, and one comment tells me that I "obviously don't watch enough basketball to know what your talking about."

Well if there's anything I do know, it's basketball. And if there's anything I definitely watch enough of, if not more than necessary, it's basketball.

So this time I'll explain myself by rebutting Fitz's and "ZukeMorty's" arguments.

I've got to say that I don't understand the logic of the trade for any team involved in the trade, with the obvious exception of the Miami Heat, who absolutely stole three great players.

I can explain this:

Boston: Boston is clearly starting a youth movement centering around Al Jefferson and hopefully (for them) Gerald Green. They got Qyntel Woods, once thought the next McGrady and still young enough to turn his career around. They move Walker and his overpaid 6 year contract to the Heat and got back money and second round picks, which are non guaranteed contracts, as well as a couple of big white centers, one of which may pan out yet. Walker was an unrestricted free agent, and Boston had no intention of keeping him or Payton, so getting something out of nothing was the result.

Memphis: Memphis gets Eddie Jones and Raul Lopez to replace Posey and Williams. While that's certainly nothing groundbreaking, Memphis will have cap relief sooner as a result. If they got worse, it's barely worse.

Utah: Ok, I admit I don't have a clue what the Jazz were doing. They already gave up on Kirk Snyder, sent to New Orleans. And Ostertag is Ostertag. Obviously Lopez was no longer starting with Deron Williams there. Since I don't know the contract situations of Ostertag/Lopez, nor do I care enough, I won't bother analyzing this further. Simply put, the Jazz went from bad to bad.

New Orleans: A no brain deal for them since under NBA rules they have to put a team on the floor. Rasual Butler is a decent swingman with a pretty good perimeter game, and Kirk Snyder is a young project.

At that point, Fitz called Jason Williams, Antoine Walker and James Posey "great" players. "Great" players don't shoot 41%, 42% and 35% respectively, unless they're Allen Iverson...

After I pointed out that those players are far from great, I was greeted by Mort's commentary.People who assume the Heat will have chemistry problems only had to watch Walker work his way out of Dallas in one year and Williams work his way out of Sacramento quickly as well.

Walker went from starter to benched in the playoffs while in Dallas, despite playing for on Nelson, who like Walker has never had a preference for D. It was the ridiculously bad shot selection out of the 6'8 power forward who chucked up about 5 triples a game.

Jason Williams worked his way out of Sacramento by passing the ball into the stands more than into the hands of Chris Webber. Averaging 4 turnovers a game in under 35 minutes in Year 2 was quite a feat. Williams has finally dipped to a more normal number of 2 turnovers a game in about 30 minutes under Hubert Brown and Mike Fratello in Memphis, but his career 39% shooting doesn't help much.

Even Posey was a malcontent in Houston and was injured on and off throughout last year.

I've heard it said that Williams and Walker won't fit 'cause they both need the ball. Bull Shit. Williams wants the ball just to pass it and Walker is a perfect 3rd scorer.

Williams will be the point guard, but the primary ball handlers for the Heat's system will obviously be Wade and Shaq, which means that the Heat need the other 3 players to stretch the floor. Thus they had Haslem, a decent mid range shooter, Eddie Jones and Damon Jones, the latter hitting the 2nd most triples in the league last year. Williams struggles to hit 30% of his 3 point attempts each season.

And I have no idea how Walker is a perfect 3rd scorer. The guy has never been a 3rd scorer in his life. He's been the same 19/8 in 35 minutes with 20 shot attempts for his entire career. He's taken about 1500 shots per season every year except for his 1100 in Dallas. Walker is a career 41% shooter, and he's at 32% behind the arc despite taking an average of 400 triple attempts per season in the last 5 years. For the first time, it will be sensible for Walker to drift to the perimeter. The problem is that obviously Eddie Jones was a more natural fit at 3 on both ends of the floor for Miami.

In sizing up the Heat against the rest of the East, Fitz says the following:

In the mean time, the only team in the East that made an effort to get any better was the Nets. The Pistons are arguably the same, and the Pacers will be roughly the same team they were this year.

While I agree that New Jersey didn't leapfrog the Heat, the Pistons are still the same team that came within a bad 9 minute stretch of repeating. And obviously the Pacers "added" Artest and a ready to play European point guard, which can't hurt when Tinsley's the starter.

Every other Eastern conference team is right about where they were last year, if not worse like the Celtics. But it's pretty difficult to claim that this trade hurts the Heat, at least for the next 2 years and the relative short term.

The Bucks clearly did not get worse or stay the same.

I don't think the trade helped the Heat at all on either side of the floor. Their offense just added considerably worse perimeter starters who averaged about 10 more shots per game than last year's counterparts, Eddie Jones and Dame Dash Jones. On the other end of the floor, the thought of watching Antoine Walker guarding small forwards is hysterical, and Jason Williams has never played defense. Posey, if he can stay healthy for a change, is a decent replacement for Eddie Jones, and he's probably a better fit than Antoine Walker on both ends of the floor as well.

And with the short term established, this trade obviously kills the Heat in Years 3-6: Shaq will be gone or unrecognizable, Wade will be maxed, taking the Heat's cap with him, and Walker will be completely untradable as he will be pushing late 30s.

Thus, this is how Miami ran on their sword. Much like the Steve Nash debate, I believe the impending season will prove me right.

# posted by Jay Dub @ 2:43 PM 0 comments

...nothin less or more."

And with that simple formula, Prodigy and Havoc made a name for themselves in the world of gangsta rap.

Until now. It seems that two of the least gully rappers of all time have decided to sell out, no homo juelz santana, by riding 50's gravy train.

Forgive me for being late on the news, but I was completely shocked at work when I turned on the Pop station in Milwaukee last week when I heard the usual 50 bubblegum garbage and the stupid singing hook.

Then I heard what sounded like Havoc and then I heard the unmistakable P mumble talk, and I realized that Mobb Deep is officially dead (for those keeping count after Infamy anyway).

The sad thing is that the beat for the song had so much potential, especially the tweak in the beat that reminds me of Extortion with Meth/Raekwon off Hell On Earth. If the Mobb had done this track alone, cut out the pop elements and did something along the lines of Got It Twisted caliber on that beat, they'd have been on their way to a good start for another album.

Instead, it is what it is.

Mobb Deep: 1991-2005

I know Hendrix was always into wearing some pretty flamboyant shit, but I always attributed it to that "Killa Cam girlie colors is different and hip" tip, albeit 30-40 years earlier.

But, no homo Juelz Santana, it's possible that Hendrix was also adept at the skin flute

In regular visits to the base psychiatrist at Fort Campbell, Ky., in spring 1962, Hendrix complained that he was in love with one of his squad mates and that he had become addicted to masturbating, Cross writes. Finally, Capt. John Halbert recommended him for discharge, citing his "homosexual tendencies."

First it was Malcolm. Now Jimi?

Before Hendrix even owned a proper guitar, he played air guitar using a broom, then a beat-up hunk of wood...

But there's more.

After his discharge, Hendrix formed a band with former Army pal Buddy Cox and began touring Southern clubs on the "Chitlin' Circuit."

No Homo Juelz Santana: that was more than enough for me.

Jim Morrison > Jim Hendrix

When Miami traded for Shaq last year, packing Odom/Butler etc. for a clearly over the hill fatso, I was positive it was a mistake. I was certain the Heat wouldn't come close to winning it with Shaq, and as he got progressively worse, so would the Heat. Then, in a few years when Shaq's gone, they'd have Wade and nothing else.

So I admit I was surprised at how efficient the Heat were this past season. Haslem was a decent role player, Wade got ridiculously better and it doesn't really matter how that happened, Ed Jones was ok and Damon Jones decided he was going to make some triples consistently. Throw in Dooling hitting close to 60% in the playoffs, and the Heat damn near got to the Finals. They would have been mauled by the Spurs, but they would have proved this doubter wrong.

With the Pistons likely not getting any better, and with Lawrence Brown taking his charade to the Apple, the Heat, who were 3 minutes away from the Finals, had just as good a chance this season to get to the Finals by standing pat. They've accomplished that by resigning Haslem and Shaq.

Instead, it appears the Heat are going to run on their own sword. Everyday the Heat are getting closer to trading for Antoine Walker, Jason Williams and James Posey, while they would give up Eddie Jones, a dreg to be named later, trade exceptions and draft picks.

In otherwords, they're adding 34 shots per game while giving up Ed Jones's shots. I'm too lazy to look up how many Eddie shot this year but it was 13 max. More importantly, the individuals who took those 34 shots shot a FG% of 42%, 41% and 35% respectively. Outside of Posey, their defense is garbage.

I can understand moving Jones and getting Posey in return. That's basically a fair swap. But the Heat would also be adding two other players in Toine and Williams who shoot poorly, dominate the ball, and have never taken kindly to playing reserved roles (did Toine in Dallas not happen?). With these moves, No Homo Juelz Santana, the only possible result is that these guys would be handling Wade's balls and taking shots from Wade/Shaq. I'm definitely no fan of Dame Dash Jones, but how much sense does it make to put a worse shooter at 1 and throw Toine into the mix at 3 on a team that creates so much space with Shaq?

Meanwhile, Shaq signed today for 5 years/100 million, effectively hamstringing the Heat's cap until he retires. Pundits can keep pretending Shaq is bigger than the 20/10 he averages these days, but the simple truth is that Shaq will not make clutch free throws, he will not average more than 20/10, and he will be gimpy by season's end. Shaq will only continue to get worse, just like he has over the last 3-4 years.

In the end I'll be glad when these moves happen, because I don't like the Heat, and because the ruined chemistry of the team with these trades will eclipse all the goddam talk about the Anthony Mason signing that pundits credit with turning the 00-01 Eastern Conference Finalist Bucks into a non playoff team in 01-02.





No homo Juelz Santana: are those the types of mugs you want to ball with?

I think most of us can pretty much agree that MTV is about 95% garbage, 4% Sunday Stew and 1% Real World/Road Rules Challenge, but I still couldn't get over how pathetic MTV got when they busted out a show called Laguna Beach, which was sort of supposed to be a reality TV version of the OC.

Although I know of the OC's popularity, I don't watch it so I can't comment on it. But I did catch plenty of Laguna Beach thanks to Mad Dog's somewhat illegal obsession with Kristin, who was a junior in high school during the filming of the show.

There's just one problem with Laguna Beach; there was pretty much nothing good about Laguna Beach. It was a bunch of minors doing a bunch of rich snobby/high schooler's type of shit. Meanwhile, the overarcing storyline was supposed to be that LC, the protagonist blond dumb as doornails snob, wanted to pop her cherry with metrosexual Steven, a dumb as doornails snob, but Steven was already fucking Kristin, the antagonist blond dumb as doornails snob. And, since all these bitches are snobs, they formed their separate combined 80 IQ cliques that hated each other. To make things even worse, the other bitches on the show are just plain ugly, which is extremely surprising considering that every mother living around that area must be a trophy wife.

And that was pretty much the entire show for a dozen episodes. I honestly figured by the end of it that the ratings were down to



So imagine my surprise when I found out last week that they're making a Season 2 of this crap, presumably because they couldn't figure out anything better than the Andy Milonakis Show.

I can only think of one reason why there's a Season 2.

Laguna Beach: Now Completely Legal