Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

In what would likely be the most stunning and most unfortunate turn of events in the NBA Free Agency Season, it seems that Phoenix utlity man Joe Johnson is set to take his unspectacular game to Atlanta, and get this; Johnson actually wants to play for the Hawks, where he will team with a dunker, an underperforming forward and a bunch of dregs to win about 30 less games than his team the year before.

Johnson apparently was upset about being the 4th wheel, even if he still put up 17/6/4.

Only one individual was happy to hear the news.


*YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH*

After last week's lighthearted joke about the Overbay Game in reference to Fitz's repost of a regular season Cards-Cubs game, I just noticed in the comments section that Fitz "assume[s] that [I don't] truly HATE any team in sports."

And I've come to the conclusion that just maybe he's right, but it's not my fault. Blame it on the great state of Wisconsin and my age.

The NFL

Hailing from Wisconsin makes 99.99% of us Green Bay fans by birthright, and understandably so (Nasty Naus, actually, is one of the .01%ers). No Homo Juelz Santana, as a typical but not rabid Packers fan, I'm well aware of the history of the Bears-Packers rivalry. Since these are two of the oldest and most successful franchises in NFL history, and given their location, the rivalry makes sense. And there was certainly some bitterness in the 80s, with highlight reel replays like the Packers lineman bodyslamming Jim McMahon after a play.

The problem is that the Bears haven't been good since approximately 1987. I was simply too young to follow the NFL at that point; I only began to follow the NFL with the ascension of Don Majik Man Majkowski in the early 90s when the Packers made the playoffs for the first time in forever. That gets to the root of the problem: the Bears have been so laughably bad for nearly all of my existence that it's impossible to hate them. In fact, I find myself rooting for them once in awhile, and Nasty Naus is a big Bears fan.

The team I probably do come closest to hating is the Minnesota Vikings. But my disgust with the Vikings is shared by most people, thanks to:



Thankfully, the Vikings have either been laughably bad or the biggest chokeartists in any sport during their existence. Seriously, their NFC Final loss against Atlanta was one of my top 5 favorite sports moments of all time, which says a lot about our teams.

The NBA

The Bucks have actually been consistently good but never great since the 80s, except for 5 terrible years under Mike Dungleavy in the 1990s. Their biggest rivalry in that period has probably been the 76ers, who I definitely don't like, but don't hate either.

If the team I dislike the most is the Vikings, the Jordan Bulls run a close second, but that was general disgust at the dickriding (no homo) of Jordan and the Bucks being terrible.

The MLB

When you're a Brewers fan, the only individuals you hate have Selig in their names. For example, tonight the Brewers are losing 3-0 after 7 innings despite only giving up one hit, which just so happened to be a 3 run shot by pitcher Brad Hennessey.

With that said, I loved rooting against the Angels and Red Sox until they won World Series, if only because they had it worse off than Milwaukee fans. Luckily, that leaves the Cubs, and now that I think about it that Bartman episode may be one of my Top 5 sports moments of all time as well.

The NHL

Wisconsin is one of the coldest states in America. Phoenix is one of the hottest places on the planet. We have the Milwaukee Admirals from the IHL, but since I'm not Fly, I don't care about minor league sports.

Sans an NHL team, I've rooted for the New Jersey Devils since my family's originally from there. But I don't watch the NHL until the playoffs anyway.

The Rest

I can't think of any other high profile sports teams, since Milwaukee's not affiliated with any of them. In fact, our most successful team is the Milwaukee Wave from some sort of soccer league. They keep winning their title. The fact that Milwaukee's best team kicks the ball on grass (no jokes about the Brewers here please) is almost enough to bring me to tears.

So forgive me if I don't hate a team. Blame it on the Badger State.

For the past 2+ weeks, as I mentioned in a previous post, I've been working at a bank in a department that, of 12 people, consists of 8 fat middle aged women, a fat 20 year old female intern and 3 guys. Needless to say, I weigh the least in the department.

But as I've been thinking about the situation more, and believe me when I say I have plenty of time to think about things, I wondered if there was ever anyway possible that 9 heavyweights of this sort could randomly work in the same department.

And then it hit me, nhjic. It made perfect sense for fat girls to swarm in bunches, because it makes the best looking least disgusting fatty more appealing. If someone is desperate enough to take on anything, and I mean anything, then a fat pack offers at least one fatty a decent chance at "tonz of fun."



No homo Juelz Santana, but I've been testing my theory, with myself as the subject. And as I walk past the horde of ugly fatties doing whatever they do during the day, I find the little fatty intern looks a bit better each time. On my floor there is only one decent looking girl around, and she's Hispanic. Since I have no desire to work with customs or the INS and I only got a C in Spanish, my options would be limited if I was desperate.



So from here on out, my advice to everyone is to avoid fat packs before their diabolical scheme gravitates a poor soul to them. Also, if I'm right, it would definitely be beneficial to the cause to go out with retards and various forms of deficient individuals, since it would make you the lone option for action among the group.

No homo Juelz Santana, I hope my enduring anguish and suffering can serve a higher cause.

So yesterday the spaceship took off, and it turns out that they still have issues with falling debris during takeoff.

Assuming the Discovery wasn't fatally hurt, NASA officials are calling it "luck" that serious damage was averted.

Otherwise reentry would have been hotter than a Great White concert.

Tonight, Yahoo alerted me to a competition I had never heard of. I'm talking about the venerated Miss Wheelchair America Pageant. And I must say, I'm terribly disappointed with the results.



Meet Mrs. Kristen Connors, a 33 year old Islander of Rhode. In addition to "raising awareness about issues related to living with disabilities," Connors has also raised awareness on just how ugly the cripples circuit really is. Seriously, there isn't a better looking cripple than that? A few more whacks and maybe Nancy Kerrigan would have won 1st place in a competition after all.

But it wouldn't be a competition without some controversy. Incredibly, Mrs. Connors rose got to the top of the 2 foot heap only after another cripple had been stripped of her ounce of dignity Miss Wheelchair state's title when it turned out that the crippled bitch could stand.

And of course, this one was from wherelse?

The pageant was thrown into turmoil in April after Ms. Wisconsin, Janeal Lee, was stripped of her title when a photograph of her standing appeared in a local newspaper.

You pretty much have to stoop pretty low, figuratively and literally, to fake an injury to win a cripples' award, but that's just what this little Wisconsinite did. Apparently, Ms. Lee got tired of hearing "While you were down there..." jokes from the guys and made a career mistake in front of cameras.



Since Lee had muscular dystrophy, the bitch could apparently stand once in awhile in front of her class of students just so they weren't completely freaked out by their deformed monster of a teacher.

The organization then separated Lee from her title because "she did not fulfill a major requirement expected of a state titleholder."

In fact, while the disease will someday rob her of her ability to stand or walk, she can still walk for up to 50 feet for the time being.

So what have we learned today? No matter how sweet or innocent or harmless these things look, they're still just as nefarious as a human being.

Over at Fitz, all the Cards fans are getting nostalgic about a regular season game last year in which Albert Pujols had a good game and the Cards beat the Cubs in Wrigley. I don't like the Cubs any more than any other non Cubs fan, so I don't mind when they lose. In fact, the only thing that can make a Brewers fan complacent about professional baseball is to see a team from Chicago suffer that much worse.

Anyway, Team Fitz is talking about this regular season game, dubbed the "Pujols Game," like it was one of the greatest baseball games of all time. In fact, Team Fitz initially published this post 6 months ago and decided to republish it again this weekend since the Cards-Cubs are playing each other. I probably wouldn't have found the game that amazing the first time, let alone the fact that I couldn't make sense out of some of it.

The score was 8-2 going into the top of the 6th inning, when the Cardinals turned it on. With simple small-ball tactics, the Cardinals were able to score 3 runs and make the score 8-6.

Finally, in the bottom of the 9th, Albert Pujols hit a 2-run home run to make the score 10-8, followed by a Reggie Sanders home run to make it 11-8. But the game wasn't over yet, as the Cubs threatened in the bottom of the ninth.

Pujols finished the game 5 for 5 with 5 RBI, 4 runs scored, and 3 home runs.

But here's my favorite part of the post: "The game propelled the Cardinals ahead in the NL Central, and in 2004 the Cardinals made their first trip to the World Series since 1987."

If you look at the box score, we'll see that the game merely propelled the Cardinals 10 games ahead of the NL Central, on their way to winning the division by 13 over the Astros, 16 over the Cubs, and 38 over the Brewers. I'm sure it must be fun to watch a World Series caliber baseball team, but if you're going to get excited about Cardinals victories in games in which Pujols has a good game, then you'll be excited about 100 times a year.

So let's talk about a real special regular season game. I'm talking about the "Lyle Overbay Game."



Instead of having to republish a post about a baseball game that happened over a year ago probably to temper the pessimism of the World Series sweep, The Lyle Overbay was one of the greatest regular season Brewers games in history, and it only happened yesterday.

As opposed to making the division lead 10 games instead of 8, this one has serious ramifications because it could be the turning point in the Brewers season, as we gun for our first 500 season in 12 years.

Coming off a downer the night before, Lyle Overbay took over last night, going 3 for 5 with 2 homers, one of which was a grandslam, finishing with 6 RBIs and 3 runs scored against the mighty Cincinatti Reds. Much like the "Pujols Game" had So Taguchi tie the game for the Cards, the Brewers also saw Geoff Jenkins extend a 16 game hitting streak and Carlos Lee retake the MLB RBI lead with 3 of his own to get to 82.

Now THAT's an important game.

One of the reasons I've been posting sparsely lately is because I've been working out a joint venture on a very important project.

Back during the Myspace Create a Band craze that saw some members of the Mindset Army create notorious rock groups Heartscab and Raw Public, the creators of this page along with various associates formed Shredded Paper, a Dub/Screamo/Thrash group whose sound could only be described as "the sweet transient sounds of Hole mixed with the witty lyricism of Fred Durst."



Admittedly we weren't taking our project, or our new record label, Happily Aborted Fetus Records, all that seriously to start, figuring we were just following the revolutionary trail.

But then some unpredictable things occurred. First, the Mindset Army groups, such as Raw Public and Heartscab, became less active. And second, Shredded Paper was an unexpected crowd pleaser earlier this month at the Backalley Baby Bash concert on the North Side of Milwaukee.

No Homo Juelz Santana, but before we could even get a handle on things, Shredded Paper was blowing up and getting heard. Tip Top Sound Recording Studios contacted us and invited the band to go down and make what Juelz would call some "beautiful fucking things," no homo. The duo put forth some concepts and got a decent distribution deal.

And before you could even say "I swear I've heard this shit before somewhere," no homo juelz santana, local groups wanted to jump on the bandwagon and get involved with Shredded Paper. A few groups have since wanted Shredded Paper to join a tour. The first group to contact us was a poor man's Trent Rezner calling his one man group Laromlab. Frankly, their music sounds like Mr. Rezner-lite put an audio cassette recorder up to the television while playing Mega Man. Then there was Dust From A Thousand Years, who wanted us to join their tour.

Although we considered their options, Shredded Paper has decided to join a hip Milwaukee based group called Blue Plate Special



Shredded Paper made this decision based on common musical influences, particularly this one.


For those who are interested in hearing some of the fledgling work, the band put up about 1/4 of their new album on MySpace.

I know enough about Dipset to know that anything is possible, but in the past week things are getting too weird. First, last week was branded "All Diplomats Week" over at Allhiphop.com, and of course the weirdest, most psychedelic website on the Internets is the Dipset Detox.

But Reknown, a new mixtape joint, was the last straw. Nothing about the track is remarkable. No Homo Juelz Santana, but Cam is horrible, Juelz is average and the beat sounds like a Writer's Block recycle job. But then at the end comes Jimmy Jones, who apparently was gunning for worst album ever if the Dipset Memorial Mixtape is any indication.

Except this time, Jim Jones actually sounded like a rapper, and major no homo juelz santana, he owns Cam and Juelz on this track. That's almost as incredible as a Geoff Jenkins 14 game hit streak.

Sorry for not posting over the past 4 days. I realize I made life a bit less good for the 5 regulars who come here daily and the 85 irregulars who come here searching for the calibrations of a black crooner's reproductive organ daily, no homo.

But it's time to celebrate. Because if everything I've read is true, it means that we will no longer have to listen to songs like Just Lose It and Ass Like That on a basis so regular that a laxative couldn't match it. Mercifully, it sounds like Marshall's rapping days are coming to an end.

Just today, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, my hometown paper, falsely claimed Eminem was the biggest selling rapper in history and falsely claimed Eminem would be going out on top like "Nirvana and the Beatles."

All I can think to say, to quote Just Lose It, is *HA HA HA HA HA HA*

Marshall has sold nearly 40 million records, a feat made much less impressive when you realize 2 million people with poor hearing or mental deficiencies bought the Just Lose It single.

With the good comes the bad. Marshall intends to retire from rapping...so he can continue to work on producing. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel compared him in this respect to Dr. Dre...

*HA HA HA HA HA HA*

There has been interesting news regarding a few of my roomates and their considerably worse halves in the past week.

First, Peanuts went through the hassle of getting a ring and proposing only to have his girlfriend of 2 years say "Not yet." While I could envision much worse things happening to Peanuts, like stubbing his toe (nhjic), apparently things and conversation have been somewhat tense between those two since then, and he's probably a little upset about it. In fact, it drove him to drink 15 beers instead of his customary 12 the other night.

Meanwhile, Mad Dog's female fuck companion took offense to the fact that he wants to wait until she's out of school before even considering it. Perhaps I'm just a bit of a cynic, but maybe the fact that the two met and hooked up by both cheating on their former boyfriend/girlfriend at the time has something to do with Mad Dog's hesitance to consider doing anything with this girl besides plug her holes for the forseeable future.

But enough about those two, because I intend to rant about the practice of engagement as a whole, mostly due to the fact that it's archaic, a waste of money and energy, and completely worthless to everyone but a money/glamor-loving slut.

I'll admit that I might not be the expert on relationships because frankly I have refused to enter into one, but it seems to me that nothing changes with an engagement whatsoever. If a person is on the cusp of proposing, it likely means that they are sure of an affirmative answer (besides Peanuts) anyway.

Besides, the engagement doesn't change the status of a relationship. Typically people in a serious monotonous monogamous relationship don't intend to cheat or dump their partner, unless the relationship exists just because a person is too lazy to give up convenient fucking to find something challenging or better (like our Fight Club Friend 1%). Peanuts and his girlfriend "November" have been steady for 2 years, so I would assume the ultimate goal of most any monotonous monogamous relationship is marriage. Engagements are not binding, and they don't serve any tax purposes, so what role do they even play?

The way I see it, they only play one role:


And for men, that role, as Tony Montana would say, is "getting fucked," figuratively speaking of course (no homo). If you're going to be retarded old fashioned, you better prepare yourself for saying hi to the jeweler by saying bye to at least 3 of the best friends you will ever have, Benjamin Franklin 1, Benjamin Franklin 2 and Benjamin Franklin 3. Your bitch better be worth it.

So to sum up engagement as a practice, a man has to spend hundreds of dollars on a goddam ring to give to a girl who is no more bound to him during the engagement than before it. And engagement's one actually important task, preparing a couple for a wedding date or marriage, is usually already being accomplished just by having a steady monotonous monogamous relationship over an extended period of time.

In other words, engagement is pointless, a waste of time, money and energy, and you're even selling 3 of your best friends into servitude to some greedy, probably Tall Israeli, jeweler.

All I can say is if some girl should ever be so lucky as to become Mrs. Whitewater, the bitch better have a cubic zirconium fetish.

On Monday, with GFest ending, it was back to reality for one Johnny Whitewater. And unfortunately, that reality equals no more looking at hot Greek girls and discussing future Greek prospects, no RKellyo.

In fact, reality included starting a job working for a bank on Monday as well, where fate decreed that I would be in a department consisting of a dozen unbelievably fat middle aged women and a fat intern girl to match. It's gotten to the point that I do a double take when I see a girl who is merely overweight instead of clinically/morbidly obese. Outside of one decent Asian girl and a hot girl who looks Hispanic, the job couldn't contain a worse environment, and that's before I mention that the view outside is downtown Milwaukee.

But it's even worse than that. First, I had to train with an unbelievably obese chick who looked like Fatu of the WWF's Headshrinkers.



In the pubicle cubicle next to her is a young black woman, anywhere from 18-25. That's not something to mention, until it's pointed out that while she works on the computer she grinds her big fat ass on her chair. She does this ridiculous dance on her chair all day long, like there's a fucking dildo coming out of the center of her seat, major no homo. So imagine my surprise when I heard that she already has 3 kids, the oldest being 4. If I jacked off tomorrow on her chair while she went to lunch, I guarantee you I'd definitely be sending money out of my paycheck to something other than FICA in 9 months.

Things are gradually settling down now though, as I thereafter trained with a merely overweight middle aged woman today, and tomorrow dawns a new era, where I will mercifully be spared such obnoxious sights and relegate myself to my own office space.

God work sucks.

I started thinking about the Support The Troops nonsense last night during the Real World, when that lunatic Rachel started her whole Iraq and the Army Badge of Courage crap, probably because Lacy looks like Uday's corpse. Not only had Rachel deluded herself into thinking that applying bandaids to soldiers was for the benefit of her roomates' freedom, but she tried to argue with the negro Nehemiah that jail is Candyland compared to Iraq. Being a black man, Nehemiah immediately pointed out that while Rachel soldiers may have been digging holes to take a shit, many incarcerated black men are getting shit dug out of their holes, let alone the fact that Rachel was a nurse. Why couldn't Real World get an actual woman soldier like Jessica Lynch on the show?

And at that point I realized that all the morons driving around with those stickers are basically Rachels. I must say I'm getting pretty goddam sick of seeing these fucking bumper stickers everywhere I go, pretty much because they're the stupidest thing ever invented. Here are some questions I'd like to ask about these things and the Down's stricken individuals buying them.

First, do you clueluess dumbfucks who buy those things honestly believe that you're supporting the troops by buying a $2 bumper sticker and proudly displaying it while you're on the way to go order another Big Mac at McDick's (nh)?

Second, shouldn't it just be automatically assumed that 99.99% of Americans support the troops? And I don't mean support as in sending them something, but support as in we're rooting for them? Do you fucktards think that cars not displaying the bumper sticker are filled with occupants rooting against the troops?

Obviously, your bumper stickers that say Support Our Troops are actually saying Support Bush's policies. You assholes driving around with these things have deluded yourselves into believing that anyone critical of Bush's War in Iraq is unpatriotic and hurting the troops. Here's a novel idea: wouldn't it be a better show of support to our troops to get them the hell out of the shithole where 1800 have already died?

Is it a show of support to send the troops to Iraq without having a clue about how to transform post war Iraq?

Is it a show of support to send the troops to Iraq by misconstruing the evidence to take what could have been a justifiable war to build public support on faulty grounds?

Are the troops in Iraq dying for our freedoms? Of course not. Afghanistan is a completely different story, but soldiers in Iraq are dying because they're obeying orders and doing their job. Even forgetting the psychotic Rachel for a second, the simple truth is that the soldiers dying in Iraq are not protecting us from a damn thing. The 1800 who have died in Iraq will have died in vain unless this Administration and you retards blindly supporting it come to your collective senses and figure out a way to rebuild Iraq and transform it into a stabilized, functioning country. That's not supporting the troops: that's getting our troops killed.

And buying ugly yellow bumper stickers is not going to do the trick.

So GFest went down this past Thursday through Sunday, thus the lack of updates. And no homo Juelz Santana, while Nasty Naus, 1% and I were all but cut off from civilization this past weekend, the weekend was unquestionably the weirdest 48 hours of our lives.

So here's a list of what we missed because of GFest and what we didn't miss because of GFest.

What We Missed Because of GFest

Boring Hurricane Dennis News
London Gets Shook
B2K Faggot is Gay. Actually, no homo juelz santana, I'm sure we already knew that.
1%'s sobriety (more on this later). No Homo.

What We Didn't Miss Because of GFest

Thousands of black teens putting on a fashion show in the middle of the church grounds on Saturday night, with anxious police circling their perimeter.

What 1% Didn't Miss Because of GFest

A white trash's fist to his head at the Gametime in Milwaukee. The fight led to the 3 of us needing a police escort to get out of the place in one piece. More on this later.

What We Missed That We Didn't Want to Miss Because of GFest

Talib Kweli at Summerfest.
Bobby Simmons joining the Bucks for some inexplicable reason.


What We Didn't Miss That We Did Want To Miss Because of GFest

All of Sunday night, which contained the most ridiculous string of events that nobody could have ever imagined. Major No Homo Warning: Let's just say that Sunday night involved an individual who won't be named trying to ditch his friends in Milwaukee to go home with Milwaukee's Beast, a 6'7 transvestite named Andrew Andrea, because he was too incapacitated to realize The Thing was not the stunning brunette he thought it was.

Since Sunday Night was by far the weirdest night of our lives, and more ridiculous than all of our ridiculous stories combined, Nasty Naus and I will be discussing this one in a future post.

For most people, the point of a Church Festival is to celebrate the church community and raise funds for the maintenance and upkeep of the Church. Granted, it's been mostly about getting wasted and eating free food for us, but we've always understood the grand design for the Church Festival.

The problem is that the patrons who come to the grounds free of charge don't always see it that way. Arrests are made every year, and the offenses range from packing heat to urinating on people's property upon leaving the Festival. Years ago, Nasty Naus and I decided that instead of calling it Greek Fest, we'd simply refer to it as G Fest.

Most of the disturbances in the past were blamed on the Rides section. While the rest of the Festival has something to do with the church or Greek ethnicity, the rides are their own independent section. And of course, with the notable exception of Tupac, the rides section is where the minorities congregate. So steps had been taken in the past to shut down the rides earlier and beef up police presence.

Well, last year proved that it was an unmitigated failure. Everything was going normally until Saturday night. In what was one of the oddest decisions of all time, someone decided it was a good idea to put a live American band on a stage in the beer tent, a shitty one named Rhythm Method at that.

So what happened? At the same time the rides were shutting down, forcing hundreds of people onto neighboring streets and garnering ill will, some drunk fools jumped up on stage with the band and did their little mosh routine on stage. Before the 5-0 could react in time, outright mayhem and destruction started going down in the beer tent while the rides' patrons got rowdy just off the grounds. Incredibly, our Fight Club Friend, 1%, was in the beer tent getting hammered while it was all going down and was completely oblivious to it, walking away from it unknowingly while it went on around him.

At the end of the night, 30 arrests and 80 citations were made, and the 5-0 reported shots fired, property damage, cruising and an attempt to overturn a Milwaukee County bus. Nasty Naus survived by not being there, and I unwittingly survived by lounging around in the Shishkabob tent getting wasted and unsuccessfully hitting on girls.

So what changes were made for the G Fest this year to avoid a repeat? The church is removing all references to "Greek Fest," changing its name to the "Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church 40th Annual Family Festival." They also moved the rides to the other corner of the churchgrounds, away from the beer tent.

Regardless, it's clear that you can take the GFest name out of the festival, but you can't take the GFest nature out of it. Surely, the improprieties will continue around the House of the Lord.

In anticipation of the start of GFest on Thursday, Nasty Naus and I will retell our most ridiculous Festival story ever tomorrow, also known as one of the most unpleasant experiences of our Fight Club Friend's life.

This day is a very important day. Today's the 142nd anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg. More importantly, today is the day I leave for G's Cabin in Rhinelander. Yes, that's the same place where The Bet went down only 2 summers ago.

Thus I'll be spending the weekend tubing, jet skiing and hopefully restricting myself to activities strictly involving the lake and the Twins.

So unless Nasty Naus displays a rare burst of creativity and updates, this page won't be up to anything until Monday. Next week is also the G Fest, so Nasty Naus and I will be counting down the worst of the worst GFest stories in anticipation. As you'll soon learn, Tupac's appearance was just the start.

Til then, try to stay out of

Now that free agency has arrived, it's time to pull a Fitz and do a homer post about the Bucks. And before you get on my case, consider the other hometown teams in the commode we call Milwaukee.

Anyway I know all of you were excited when the Bucks turned a 6.7% chance of winning the lottery into a success. After last year's disaster, coupled with basically the entire 1990s, we desperately needed a break, if only for my sanity. It's just a shame we were 2 drafts late.

So we add Bogut and probably Ford back to the lineup this year, and in the blink of an eye the Bucks could crack the playoffs again next season.



But when your team's general manager is a guy who turns into a palsy simply by learning he has won the lottery, you quickly realize things can go wrong quickly, in a variety of ways.

Mike Redd bolts or Mike Redd annihilates our payroll

The latter is much more likely than the former. I'm not saying Larry Harris is Jerry West or R C Buford or anything, but not even Isaiah Thomas would have kept Redd at last year's deadline without serious assurances (read: promise) that he would resign. Of course a Carlos Boozer complete asshole could break his promise and, no homo juelz santana, really stick it to the team, but Milwaukee did take a chance on an erratic 2 guard coming off a horrible year at Ohio State, so loyalty should be worth something.

The problem is teams will drive up the bidding on Redd, who might be a Top 10 2 guard, and Redd will come close to making the max when he's probably worth 2/3 or 3/4 of the max.


After we sign our Goon Squad restricted free agents, we'll be out of cap space, locked in with a roster of young point guards who are virtually the same player, a good 2 guard, Desmond Mason, and the ugliest, whitest frontcourt in the last 20 years, no homo. We can't afford to blow all potential cap space.

The New Coach

I'm not saying Larry Harris is Jerry West or R C Buford or anything, but not even Isaiah Thomas would have fired Porter days before the draft without lining a better coach up beforehand...

But I'm getting concerned that Larry Harris is no Isaiah Thomas.

For the past few weeks, Milwaukee's writers and fans have been reassuring ourselves that the race for the coaching vacancy was "Game Over" with the imminent arrival of Lil Flip Saunders, bad pun very much intended.

However, in the past two days, NBA sources have said that TERRY STOTTS and DOUG COLLINS are also frontrunners.

A league source said Thursday that the Bucks were waiting to hear from the 53-year-old Collins, who is pondering the coaching position and could make up his mind by this weekend.

Thankfully, Stotts is now out of the running. Unfortunately so is Eric Musselman, probably the best option for our young team.

Still, I think we'll mostly get it right. So here are my pre July predictions for the Bucks' upcoming season.

Coach: Flip Saunders

Depth Chart:

TJ Ford/Mo Williams
Mike Redd/Jiri Welsch (still can't fucking believe that one)/Dez Mason
Dez Mason/Someone yet to be signed/Kukoc
Joe Smith/Zaza Pachulia
Andrew Bogut/Dan Gadzuric

We also have Calvin Booth, First Team All Ugly and Reece Gaines under contract. The 2nd round pick probably makes the roster unless we get lucky and sign a free agent like Stro Swift.

Record: 42-40. I think it'll be good enough for 7th-9th place.