Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

I understand that this guy's gig is constructive criticism, mostly without the constructive aspect. I don't know how his act hasn't gotten old after however many seasons of American Idol because I don't watch that garbage, but doesn't it get stale?

Anyway, it's one thing to do it when it's your job and the likes of William Hung are auditioning. It's totally different when Simon spouts off on other subjects.

Why is this news?

"I find the whole Beyonce thing really mystifying," Cowell says in Esquire magazine. "She's not sexy, she hasn't got a great body and she's not a great singer."

I'm not going to argue about that great singing part. That's obviously true.

I've figured out why Simon doesn't think Beyonce has a good body though:


Simon clearly prefers women who have food go up their throats, not down it.

I don't understand the whole Beyonce thing either Simon. Then again, this is the same guy who gave us that fatass Ruben and that ugly bitch with the porn star name Fantasia.


"My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard."


Fantasia, aka Ruben Studdard after lyposuction.


But of course Simon doesn't stop there. After that, he defends Ashlee Simpson's lip synching/band playing wrong song/acid reflux episode on SNL.

"Why should you have to do something substandard just for the sake of being real? If it sounds better with the vocal you recorded, why shouldn't people listen to that? There's almost a witch-hunt mentality about people miming."

The word "better" should never be used in a conversation discussing Ashlee Simpson. Honestly, if she legally changed her name to Runt of the Litter Simpson, would anybody not understand why?

And for a show that gets ridiculous ratings for being a live performance of singing, Simon's defense of the Runt makes even less sense. I don't need to explain this to anyone, let alone someone who has basically made a caricature out of himself criticizing people for terrible live performances.

Simon did get something right though:

On France: "We (the British) have hated the French for years. Now you (the United States) have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable."

No doubt. But you Brits are still insane.