Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Back before I was coerced into helping Kenny Bloggins create and update a weblog, the first obvious step was that a proper name for the weblog had to be formulated.

Kenny Bloggins said that he had come up with Bloggystyle before, and I thought that was pretty damn tight. What better way than to pay tribute to a classic album and be clever at the same time?

So much for being clever. Given the amount of fucking pervs out there, I really should have known that "Bloggystyle" was as original as an Ashlee Simpson single.

Fair enough. Hell, according to this site, I'm not even the first person to go by the name Johnny Whitewater. The individual on the far right of this picture is identified as Johnny Whitewater:


You may take my name, but you'll never take my stilo!

As if the fruity wannabe Rocky Marciano wasn't enough of an affront to me, I subsequently decided to check out some of the "Bloggystyle" forebearers. Let's just say we're not exactly taking the torch from any Wayne Gretzkys.

The first site that appears in a search of Bloggystyle is this disgrace of a page. I don't know why this assclown needed to call his weblog "Bloggystyle" but this guy is apparently an aspiring writer, much in the same vein that Jessica Simpson is an aspiring Einstein. He came up with "Terribly Happily" because he misunderstood Bjork's lyrics on a track.

I don't know how someone misunderstands Bjork's lyrics, because I wouldn't be caught dead listening to that obnoxious bitch. But either way, any man who listens to Bjork deserves a swift shot to his sack. That's not all: this guy also admits to "sporting wood" at the thought of James Cameron movies. I don't even know if that qualifies as gay, but big no homo just in case.

The name of the individual running this site is Omar L. Gallaga. Omar L. Gallaga. Johnny Whitewater. For christ's sake, which one of us sounds like we should be running a site called Bloggystyle? I can't be sure about Omar's ethnicity, but one conspicuous thing that appears on his page is a picture of Charles "Hitler loving / Jew hating" Lindbergh in a newspaper with the headline "Lindbergh Lands Safely In Paris." Arab sounding name...anti semite in the sidebar...2+2...Well I can top that, bitch!


"Lindbergh Lands Softly In Ditch"

Once you get past all those advertisements for "space monkeys" and Japanese manga and all that other gay stuff, you can go to other features of his sites, like "Happies" and "Constant Cravings." I wish I was kidding. I've appealed to this individual to rename his weblog "Doggystyle," because that's the only position this guy and his boyfriends will ever have sex in, no homo.

Unfortunately Omar isn't the only guy who thought up Bloggystyle. There's also Buddy Dave Does Bloggystyle, which has pictures of a very pregnant woman and an ubernerd.


Kenny B. and I are honored to follow in the footsteps of such champions.


Now I see why Buddy Dave does it bloggystyle

Buddy Dave, when he originally came up with Bloggystyle, titled himself a comedic genius. That was clearly on display for this picture, which he titled "dave32weeks.jpg."


"What you're seein is a genius at work..."


Has a baby ever tried to commit suicide before, or is this one going to attempt to set that precedent?

Even a Frenchman's in on the Bloggystyle action, no homo. When he's not taking pictures of himself or that dog, he's not a total waste of space.


Now this guy is starting to capture the essence of a Bloggystyle weblog.


It would be a nice bonus if these girls shaved their pits.

The guy writes a few French sentences. Being the resourceful individual that I am, I had a friend translate his commentary about these two girls.

Here, my kind of woman. She is simply beautiful. She is something, simple...in short, she makes me happy.

In the pantheon of smooth monologues, I'm going to rate this one just a bit below that "Juliet is the sun" soliloquy.


Is it any wonder this is the only bitch appearing in a picture with this guy?

After peeping the comp, I think it's safe to say the game needs us.