Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

That title is my favorite double entendre of all time, at least until Nick and Jessica split too.

Anyway, Agence France Presse says that "pundits" are looking for reasons why Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are separating.

I don't need pundits to get to the bottom of this.

Who wouldn't want to be a free agent? A decent looking guy who is also rich certainly will have no trouble getting a lot of women. I only fit half of that criteria and I have fewer problems than Lil Scrappy when it comes to ladies.

Just think of some of the girls Brad Pitt can now gun for:

Angelina Jolie's apparently in the middle of the speculation. According to some trashy source, "We do know that a respect developed and they became friends and I'm not sure that sat well with Jennifer Aniston."

Can you blame Brad? I for one would "respect" the hell out of her.



It turns out Lisa Kudrow is indeed married. But that probably never meant anything to a celebrity in the history of mankind. Besides, if you can't stick it in Jennifer Aniston, you may as well stick it to her. What better way to do that than to bang a costar and close friend?



Single yet domesticated. And definitely desperate. Besides the Jolie rumors, the Hollywood morons speculate that "[t]he break came as Pitt, 41, reportedly wanted so start a family, something Aniston, 35, wanted to put childbearing off in favor of her career."

Well, Nicolette Sheridan is the same age as Pitt and according to my investigation, she is childless. I admit that my investigating was about as scientific as Mark Fuhrman's, but I'm standing by my conclusion.

But I digress. Going for Nicolette Sheridan does have consequences. For one thing, Brad faces stiff competition for her services, in the form of Terrell Owens. They're both rich, but Terrell Owens definitely has a leg up (when it's not broken) in the all important dancing category, if his Ray Lewis imitation is any indication.

And of course, there's probably the issue of fidelity, but I doubt that's ever really fazed Mr. Pitt.



Way back in the day, like around 1900, the French had this controversy called the Dreyfus Affair. I'm not really sure about all the details but to make a long story short, it revolved around a favorite French pasttime: hating Jews.

Well after seeing a few images of the infamous (but married) Julia Louise-Dreyfus, I for one wouldn't mind experiencing my own Dreyfus Affair. Neither should Brad Pitt. And if he does lose that danceoff to Owens for Ms. Sheridan, well we've all seen Elaine Benes dance...



When she's not a "monster," she's incredibly hot. And she's not married. Best of all, she's still on the right side of 30. Charlize even has the riches and the resume to match.

Brad better move fast, before Marky Mark and his 3rd nipple use that Italian Job connection to effect.


Hey, this entry would be nothing without at least two pictures of Charlize.

Regardless, I think I solved the mystery. Now we can all just sit back and laugh at the hopeless losers who are actually frustrated (including sexually) by the news of another couple's breakup.