Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Johnny Whitewater: Well, I think we should definitely start with rap, since we're most familiar with it
NastyNaus: sure thing
NastyNaus: so may I nominate way we ball?
Johnny Whitewater: And I think we definitely need to break down the most terrible garbage by region, or genre
NastyNaus: ok
Johnny Whitewater: Obviously you have a very strong candidate for the Dirty South.
NastyNaus: E-40s from vallejo CA
Johnny Whitewater: So you nominate Way We Ball Remix by Lil Flip and E40
NastyNaus: yes, i strongly recommend it
Johnny Whitewater: I can't even get the name right. But I've gotta give you props on picking one with artists from across the map.
NastyNaus: Houston & Vallejo
Johnny Whitewater: I do have to question if we can simply pick a Dirty South track without even taking a Cash Money bomb into consideration.
NastyNaus: wow good point
NastyNaus: but I do have a second nomination
NastyNaus: "Shine" by Lil Wayne and the big tymers
Johnny Whitewater: have you seen that crazy fly Manolo Fresh's new "jam?"
NastyNaus: no
Johnny Whitewater: It's got some fugly bitch on the feature.
Johnny Whitewater: I understand you've got an affinity for Manolo Fresh, no homo. Last I checked, Manolo's lyrics were deemed profile worthy by you?
NastyNaus: absolutely
NastyNaus: and yes I have heard Mannie's new jam with tateeze
Johnny Whitewater: My god, Way We Ball Remix has the most obnoxious beat ever. I question if this is worse than some of the shit these two have already put out though. I mean E40 doesn't rhyme rubber with WAZUPPER in this one.
Johnny Whitewater: and Lil Flip is the same black poet who authored Sunshine, right?
NastyNaus: absolutely...
Johnny Whitewater: well this is your nomination, you may as well defend it.
NastyNaus: I think they mixed the beat for Way We Ball using Fruity Loops, that shitty freeware software
Johnny Whitewater: that's ALL you can muster for your defense?
Johnny Whitewater: I haven't seen a defense that bad since the Chiefs' season ended.
NastyNaus: I have some lyrics
NastyNaus: I'm swanging about to rip the kizzerp, sipping on my sizzyrup
And on the back of my throwback, it say Larry Bizzird
And on the back of my Jordans, it say Louis Vuitton
And on the back of my shirt, it say We Are One
NastyNaus: Do I need to defend this track?
Johnny Whitewater: Ok. I think the defense can rest.
NastyNaus: It has Lil Flip and E-40 in it
Johnny Whitewater: So we'll go with Way We Ball by Lil Flip and E-40, at least for Dirty South.
NastyNaus: Lil FLip and E-40
NastyNaus: a worse combo than Tim McGraw and Nelly, or Chris Webber and Allen Iverson.

Johnny Whitewater: So which rap genre should we do next?
Johnny Whitewater: I can only imagine the difficulty of deciding on the worst West Coast rap music
NastyNaus: Wow
NastyNaus: Does Shaq qualify?
Johnny Whitewater: just imagine the goldmine that is Snoop Dizzle's career.
NastyNaus: if he recorded his stuff when he was on the lakers?
Johnny Whitewater: I'm not sure Kazaam should count
Johnny Whitewater: maybe we'll just make a rap genre by crossover athletes/stars.
Johnny Whitewater: For now, we'll keep this to people who actually classify themselves as rappers.
NastyNaus: fair enough
Johnny Whitewater: So I imagine all topic of discussion should start with Snoop
NastyNaus: ya I agree
NastyNaus: any tracks in particular?
Johnny Whitewater: you ever heard Let's Get Blown?
NastyNaus: hmm, pharrell is in it?
NastyNaus: thats ominous
Johnny Whitewater: Indeed.
Johnny Whitewater: Besides, anytime you have two grown black men in a booth concocting a horrible track titled Let's Get Blown, isn't there some sort of homoerotic current going on there?
NastyNaus: and thats not even mentioning pharrell's in it
Johnny Whitewater: jesus, just check out this R&G The Masterpiece tracklisting
Johnny Whitewater: perhaps the whole album could qualify?
NastyNaus: UPS & DOWNS Featuring The Bee Gees
I'd nominate that but I've never heard it
NastyNaus: Does Coolio still count as a rapper?
NastyNaus: Sorry, I'm going for dark horses here
Johnny Whitewater: Oh, Coolio definitely counts
Johnny Whitewater: what about our lil shorty Skee Lo? was that guy West Coast?
Johnny Whitewater: uh, no homo on that last line
NastyNaus: Well
Johnny Whitewater: one thing we have to question is if this crap even qualifies as rap. I mean Snoop's basically singing
NastyNaus: yeah
NastyNaus: What about Xzibit?
Johnny Whitewater: Xzibit's nowhere near as bad as some qualifiers, come on.
NastyNaus: fine
Johnny Whitewater: Throwing Xzibit into the lot is like comparing Fred Smoot to the Packers' secondary
NastyNaus: I was going to nominate his Madden song
NastyNaus: I guess hes disqualified
Johnny Whitewater: that opens up a Pandora's Box of endless possibilities though.
NastyNaus: Ok, lets agree on this
NastyNaus: any track from R&G The Masterpiece?
Johnny Whitewater: I'm having a hard time disputing that right now. I can't harken back far enough into time to debate really bad West Coast music.
Johnny Whitewater: you remember that shit Kurupt put out way back when, that track called "It's Over?"
Johnny Whitewater: I guess that wasn't as bad as Let's Get Blown though.
NastyNaus: Don't remember it
Johnny Whitewater: Maybe E-40 can be a multiple winner? Seeing as how you're the chief expert on our Oakland homie, what's his worst track?
NastyNaus: oh my
NastyNaus: In the interest of time, I'll just pick one
NastyNaus: oh!
NastyNaus: I got it
NastyNaus: E-40 featuring Fabolous, Automatic
Johnny Whitewater: Automatic. What about that makes it fouler than Let's Get Blown?
NastyNaus: here are some lyrics:
NastyNaus:
Cause I don't write nothin down I keep it all in my head, Intellegent
About my business, Memory like an elephant
Chasin' the dream, Suit up for cream
Special represented tactics team, They out for teams
And infared beams, Pointed at domes, backs, and spleens
Fire hydrons, Ambulance sirens, Spittin' licence, Police indicements
Johnny Whitewater: Is Automatic really worse than Big Ballin Wit My Homies, featuring Godzilla?
NastyNaus: Yeah, the beat is out of a nintendo game and it features Fabolous..
Johnny Whitewater: "Memory like an elephant?" I don't know if I can dispute that selection.
Johnny Whitewater: which Nintendo game is it?
NastyNaus: how many other rappers would rhyme "infrared beams" with "tactics team"
NastyNaus: I think Uncle Fester's Revenge or whatever its called
NastyNaus: it sounds kind of like the Inspector Gadget theme
Johnny Whitewater: All right. For the second straight time, you have determined a worse song. Automatic by E-40 it is.

Johnny Whitewater: Well we know the Midwest is gonna be dominated by the St. Lunatics.
NastyNaus: oh you're right
NastyNaus: Does R.Kelly qualify?
Johnny Whitewater: I was definitely on a Shake Ya Tailfeather tip until I saw all those girl on girl action videos with that beat in the background over at kontraband.com
NastyNaus: yeah send me a link to that
Johnny Whitewater: your boy Robert is an R&B mogul.
Johnny Whitewater: don't pretend you haven't seen those videos
NastyNaus: I have but I need to bookmark it...
Johnny Whitewater: Clearly Nelly and Tim McGraw have to be seriously considered.
NastyNaus: yes
NastyNaus: I think a Murphy Lee jam is in order
Johnny Whitewater: Can Nelly and Tim McGraw top that Kelly Rowland and Nelly "hit" from Nellyville?
Johnny Whitewater: Here we were talking about nominating an entire album and it wasn't even Nellyville, with the likes of Hot In Herr and that Kelly song.
NastyNaus: Wait
Johnny Whitewater: Then again, is Nellyville worse than Sweat or Suit? Drop down and get your eagle on grrrl?
NastyNaus: Wasn't there a song in the Osmosis Jones soundtrack from the St.Lunatics?
Johnny Whitewater: what in the hell is Osmosis Jones?
Johnny Whitewater: wait a second, I almost forgot the immaculate Batter Up.
NastyNaus: Here's the soundtrack , it was that cartoon movie with the voice of
Bill Murray
Johnny Whitewater: On the one hand, Batter Up is such a clear choice. But our former Brewer latino Fernando Vina may have saved it from this ominous distinction with that cameo appearance in the video.
NastyNaus: This is a tough choice
Johnny Whitewater: would you agree that Vina's performance in Batter Up rivals Jalen Rose in Move Bitch?
NastyNaus: Surpasses it
Johnny Whitewater: I don't know about that: Rose did get shot at like a few weeks later.
NastyNaus: I think cameos in rap videos is a whole other beast though
Johnny Whitewater: there was something insta street cred about Rose's moving performance.
NastyNaus: I'm listening to Batter Up...I think it just hit a grand slam
NastyNaus: Shall we declare it the victor?
Johnny Whitewater: "The fish don't fry in the kitchen, the beans don't burn on the greeell *THATS RIGHT*. It took a whole lot of terrryin, just to get up that HEEL"
Johnny Whitewater: I don't think that can be topped, and it'd be a hellacious effort to find something that does.
Johnny Whitewater: With that said, I think we have to give honorable mention to Kanye's Workout Plan, for the love of god
NastyNaus: Oh wow, didn't think of that...definitely the runner up

Johnny Whitewater: I guess we're on to the East Coast?
NastyNaus: ok let me think
NastyNaus: yeah
Johnny Whitewater: You have any suggestions? I want to see what you think before I drop my imminent bombshell.
NastyNaus: Eve comes to mind immediately
Johnny Whitewater: Eve and Gwen Stefani? hmmm
Johnny Whitewater: I think I can top this.
NastyNaus: go for it
Johnny Whitewater: remember the Buckshot Clique?
Johnny Whitewater: three words: SMIFF N WESSON
NastyNaus: oh wow
Johnny Whitewater: two more words: COCOA BRUVAZ.
NastyNaus: Man, that didn't cross my mind
NastyNaus: I think you have a winner
Johnny Whitewater: I can't imagine Super Cocoa Bruvaz can be topped
Johnny Whitewater: makes me want to go play Mario Bros right now
NastyNaus: I think they won it by KO

# posted by Jay Dub @ 5:05 PM