Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

My mainstay channel, MTV Jams, has been infested by the Dirty South for the past week or so, and I'm not sure why. Suffice it to say, it's really pissing me off. Take terrible rap tracks, screw them and chop them (no homo), and the results are mindboggling. Then imagine trying to keep the station on. Hell, they were chopping tracks from 96 that were clearly unchoppable (Scarface's Smile, for example)

Anyway, after the umpteenth Mike Jones commercial, this program counting down the Greatest 25 Southern rappers of all time came on. I just had to watch and recap.

I only caught it starting at #15. After naming the artist, they have some random rappers, or Lil Jon, say shit about the guy calling him an all time great etc. Then they play a video.

#15: T.I.

According to Uncle Luke, "If T.I. doesn't run out of lyrics in 5 years, he might be on the level of a...Pac or Jay-Z"

The video for "You Don't Know Me" then plays, completely refuting Uncle Luke.

#14: David Banner

All I heard was David Banner talking about his people's struggle in Mississippi. Then a video came on featuring Lil Flip and I changed the channel for 5 minutes.

#13: Ludacris

Lil Jon told me that Ludacris is superfly TNT. Ludacris says there's the cool, calm collected side of him and then there's the rowdy side. Frankly both of his sides are terrible, no homo.

#12 DJ Magic Mike

DJ Magic Mike is some old school shit. And believe it or not, a 22 year old white kid from Wisconsin didn't know anything about this guy. I missed the all important random comment about this guy, but at least he's not Lil Flip.

#11 Trick Daddy

"Trick Daddy played a significant role in the history of Southern Music." Thanks for that pearl of wisdom, Uncle Luke.

To display the greatness of Trick Daddy, they played the video for "Nan" featuring Trina. If you're not familiar with that track, you have a guardian angel. Let's just say the best thing about this track is it's about 2:30 long.

#10 Master P

*MAKE EM SAY UNHHHH* *NA NA NA NA* *HOOOOOODY HOOOOOO*

If we were talking quality over quantity, maybe No Limit should be on this list somewhere.

But to put Master P ahead of T.I.? It makes me wonder where Lil Jon is going to show up. Anyway, the video was Make Em Say Unh, which is 5 minutes of bad rap and watching Master P dunk on an 8 foot rim.

Only in the name of science am I continuing...

#9 Juvenile

It must have been that rhyme scheme from Back That Ass Up. If this was a "Ugliest Southern Rappers of All Time" list, this pick would make sense. No homo all over that last sentence.

Actually, make that Back That Thing Up, which I'm now going to subject myself to because I'm too lazy to get up and change the remote.

#8 Lil Jon

*BIA BIA*

On the one hand I'm almost shocked he's not ranked higher. On the other, I think the only time I've heard this guy do a rap of any sort was on Play No Games.

If Lil Jon can make a list of Top rappers, would Kay Slay or Clue make the list on Top 25 East Coast? And as the Bia Bia video plays, I don't think I'll ever get over black guys rapping behind a Confederate flag.

#7 Three Six Mafia

After hearing a bunch of people talk about the wondrous career of the Three Six Mafia, the program was turned off by someone else in the house.

Thank God.

I'm pretty sure Scarface, Outkast and The Geto Boys were still coming. After that I'll have to take an educated guess of missing notables.

Paul Wall, Slim Thug, (Who?) MIKE JONES! MIKE JONES! MIKE JONES! MIKE JONES!