Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Juelz Santana has been relatively busy the past few months, between Diplomatic Immunity II and various mixtape appearances.

As I noted in that review, the Dips' style is pretty much inconsistently hit or miss from track to track. Santana came up on the big Cam album a few years ago, did a couple of tight songs on the first Diplomatic Immunity, and then pretty much flopped his first solo album.

Diplomatic Immunity II was pretty garbage, although Santana had the best track on that piece of shit with the bumpin S A N T A N A. Since that time, the Dips have been hitting up the mixtape world, which is probably a good thing. A few months ago Santana hosted a DJ Absolut tape, dropping a couple of tracks on it. "Not Fuckin With Dipset" with Santana and Hell Rell was clearly the best track on that tape.

Santana, or "Human Crack In The Flesh" (no homo?), put out this mixtape in late February and it's hosted by Green Lantern. So it's been out for 2 months, but since Mic Check is picking up steam, now seemed like a good time to review it.

Intro

If you've heard one mixtape intro, you've heard them all.

Yup Yup

Juelz likes to say *Chjeah* and other weird versions of the word "yeah." Same with his constant use of Yup, so I guess it was time to have a whole song about it.

Mic Check (1 2 1 2)

They actually put out a video for this track, so this one's getting around. In fact, the version I illegally downloaded has Kay Slay's bitchass all over it (no homo). Besides listening to that fat bastard, Juelz is better than usual on this track, probably because the fast paced beat requires an actual flow.

Straight Up Menace

Juelz gets away from his regularly scheduled programming of drugs, bitches and money to drop a really tight track about coming up from childhood. The beat is slower but it's still tight, and Juelz's lyrics are actually more important than the rhyme scheme for the first time I can remember.

Y'all Can't Touch This

At this point, there's something comical about Green Lantern yelling "more crack" at the beginning of every track. The beat sounds like one of those NBC theme songs for a sports presentation. Juelz says "I'm the best thing since Guess jeans." Uh, ok (nhjic). This track is filler even on a mixtape, which is saying something.

Damn It Feels Good

I haven't heard that "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster" track in a long time, mostly by design. For most of the track, Juelz flows like he didn't hear this beat before his vocals were finished.

Slow Down

"What you are is a slut girl." For some reason I didn't expect this track to be a story about a hoe. And it's a bad one. Sometimes Juelz drops impressive multi syllable rhymes by not bothering to make sense. This time he practically doesn't drop multi syllable rhymes.

Back Like Cooked Crack

We have already been told that Juelz is Back Like Cooked Crack the previous 8 songs.

Bad News

The beats up to this point have generally made this album listenable, but this beat sounds like Em could have produced it. Blah.

Don't Want To Fuck With Da Dips featuring J.R. Writer

I still laugh at the name J.R. Writer. On his verse he actually sounds like someone took a Cam verse and turned the vocal speed up 10 times. J.R. Writer rhymed every other two words and yet I still have no fucking clue what he just said.

Meanwhile Juelz dropped some ridiculously corny lines. "Forget filet mignon, you'll be filet min gone." Writer's second verse is worse than the first, but Juelz drops an ok second verse.

I Can Feel It

As you might have guessed, the beat/hook samples the Beans track. Juelz drops a "Straight Up Menace" type verse, except even more discombobulated. For the first verse, if you can even call it that, Juelz just rambles about his rap career. Then in the second verse he actually starts rapping about his career some more, mostly without the typical guns, sex, drugs shit. Somehow it's listenable.

Bandana

I can't explain the beat other than to say it's weird. It's some sort of electric guitar riff sounding shit. It reminds me of a slower, inferior version of Crunk Muzic, but at least it doesn't involve Jim Jones.

I'm Hot You Ain't

This is a straight sample from T.I.'s 24s. The funny thing about these tracks is Juelz keeps talking about how the Dips are on top of their business, and yet almost all of their major releases always get pushed back and still are mediocre.

Half Time Show

The first 30 seconds of this track is *I'm BAAAAACK* and playing S A N T A N A, which is a marked improvement over the rest of the track. Apparently Juelz has a solo album that's going to drop sometime soon. At least that's what I've heard about a dozen times on this mixtape.

Juelz does a verse on this track that is half Spanish, and then J.R. Writer does a verse talking a bunch of Spanish, and then some unknown fuckers do verses entirely in Spanish. The other half of the track is a hook consisting of *OK I'M RELOOOADED!!!!!!!* In otherwords, this track's not all that good. Ok, it's the worst on here.

Fucker and Friends

I think this is actually as close as a Dipset member gets to doing a slow jam. Sampling some sort of Usher shit that I can't name because I'm straight, Juelz does a verse that just gets ridiculous at the end.

Get Down

Speaking of major releases getting pushed back, Killa Cam stops by to deliver one of those vintage verses over a beat that I would describe as schizophrenia on wax. Cam's ok, but they do some annoying shit during Juelz's verse that made me hit next.

Long Time Comming

Maybe if you didn't spend so much time yelling "I'm BAAAACK," it wouldn't take you so long to come (major no homo).

Glock Pop, featuring Bugz

Bugz was absolutely atrocious on Diplomatic Immunity II, but he's not as bad on his verse for this beast. The beat is like a mix between Asian shit and video games, like the theme song of Romance of the 3 Kingdoms or something. Juelz is all right on this track.

Gunner Clap

This sampled one of those obnoxious crunk tracks that had like Lil Jon collabing with Beenie Man or something. Which is a good starting point for Juelz, because the track is inherently better without the aforesaid individuals. Other than that, there's nothing noteworthy about this track.

Dipset Inferno

Do you really need to guess what this samples? I'll be the first to admit that the beat's listenable, and taking 50 off the beat definitely helped. Juelz doesn't do anything groundbreaking with this, but it's not that bad.

Preview, featuring Hell Rell

I don't even know what to say about Hell Rell, other than his claim to fame is only being separated by two degrees of weed carrying from Cam. Not exactly the grandest accomplishment.

Uhh Ahh, featuring Hell Rell

Rell's back for the second straight track. The result is far from Not Fuckin With Dipset. I think Rell already had his "AZ on Life's A Bitch" moment of his career.

Drop A Couple Pounds

This one's humorous. Sampling Drop It Like It's Hot, Juelz does a verse bashing fat bitches. The hook is "Now if you can't see your shoes, and you don't know what to do, better hit the gym girl, stop eatin all the food." The verse isn't clever but it's still funny enough.

Y'all Ain't Gangster, featuring Bezel

Juelz is probably above average on this track compared to the rest of the mixtape, but then they brought Bezel onto the track, and that was it.

You Ain't My Homie, featuring T.I.

This track samples T.I.'s You Don't Know Me, which is definitely a good start. Despite having a good beat to work with, Santana's just wack on this.

And when it said this featured T.I. I didn't figure it would just take verse 1 from You Don't Know Me. It's a nice verse and all but still.

We Don't Give A Fuck, featuring Paul Wall

Paul Wall and Juelz Santana is definitely an odd combination, no homo. Who came up with the idea for this track? Anyway, since Paul Wall's on it, they need the beat to be Mike Jones/Still Tippin/Swishahouse slow, and Juelz just can't pull that off.

All in all, this is probably a good release as far as Dipset fans are concerned. Because if you're a big Dipset fan, it means you're used to some really bad shit, no homo. And Santana's got a habit of putting out one banging track that's way better than the rest on every album. I'm sure the solo album will be like that too.