Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Graduation Weekend at Winona/New Taxi Service

About once a semester, all of us would go up to Winona St. University for a few reasons. First, there's a friend of our's who goes to school there. Second, the girl to guy ratio is something like 6:1. When someone asks me why I'm going to Winona, I tell them I'm going to "Winona" to "ride her" (sorry, but I had to throw that joke in).

Regardless, this past weekend our friend, who we'll call "G," graduated from the school, so it was time to celebrate. In a span of three days, some very unfortunate events occurred.

The Main Players


Mad Dog Literally Runs Wild.


G and Mad Dog, Doing the Only Thing They Do Well.


It Wasn't My Best Weekend...

Since Mad Dog and I didn't have classes last Friday, we headed up to Winona on Thursday night, with the graduation party slated for Friday. We caught up with G on Thursday night and kept it relatively low key, saving it for the next day.

Friday

Friday's Graduation Party celebrated more at my expense than G's. We started drinking in the afternoon, and the party had about 2 dozen people shuffling in and out at any one time. We were drinking beer until one of our friends said he'd buy us a 750 of Jack Single Barrell if we could drink a full 750 on Friday. I don't know what the hell this guy was thinking, but Mad Dog and I had no problem finishing that 750, and it was a $45 bottle.

By 9 the two of us were abnormally drunk, so we went to pass out. They woke me up an hour later to go to the bars, and then showed me that they had fucking shaved my head while I was out. With that welcome surprise, we went downtown, and I promptly proceeded to get lost in the middle of nowhere Winona. Eventually an exchange student who looked and talked like a European soccer hooligan gave me a ride to the main street in town, at which point I found my way back to G's house and passed out. I didn't think things could get worse.

Saturday

Incredibly, they got worse. We didn't start drinking until 9:30 pm on this night, still recovering from Friday's overload (no homo). When we went to the first bar and had about 6 mixed drinks, we still didn't think it would get out of hand.

Unfortunately, from 12-1 (MN bars close at 1, which is gay, nh), one of the bars had $1 jagerbombs. Still relatively sober, G, Mad Dog, me and another friend of our's head on into that bar and promptly received 13 jagerbombs for the 4 of us. That wasn't a big deal, but G and Mad Dog kept buying rounds of jagerbombs and within the first 20 minutes we had already each had about 6 jagerbombs.

At this point, I had to piss, but I somehow took a wrong turn in the bar and wound up in some sort of storage room. So I decided to relieve myself (nh) right in the middle of this storage room, but halfway through some employees started coming down the stairs, so I had to pinch it off, tell them I was lost and get the fuck out of there.

I then found the right bathroom and started finishing what I had started when suddenly I got hit from behind by someone yelling "Milwaukee sucks." Apparently wearing a throwback Bucks hat is grounds to get punched in the back of the head. The guy took off before I even saw him. I said to the guy next to me that next time someone should tell me something I didn't already know when they punch me. He started telling me some bullshit story about playing with Mike Redd. Whatever.

I came out of the can and located the guys still at the bar in the same place. Unfortunately some party had just ordered 23 jagerbombs down the bar. Mad Dog pulled a bartender over and asked how many jagerbombs it was. When told it was 23, he promptly ordered 24. I stood there stupified at the thought of having to take another 6 right in a row. I said fuck it and only took 4 of them, as did our other friend. G took his 6, which meant Mad Dog had to take 10. He apparently took them and somehow managed not to toss right there.

At this point it was still only about 12:45. Incredibly, G got thrown out of the bar for being out of control, despite the fact he was the only one still somewhat coherent. The other 3 of us then left the bar with G and apparently we went to Hardee's. From this point on, I don't remember a thing.

What apparently happened was Mad Dog took off and got lost, leading me on a chase. We had lost the other 2. I eventually caught up because he started tossing. At some point during this melee, the cops showed up.

In a situation like this about 3 months ago, G got stopped by the cops and when he got indignant with them, they hauled his ass off to detox, where he was stuck for 36 hours and fined $450.

Neither Mad Dog or I remember how we didn't get that fate, but the cops threw us in the back of the car and drove us back to G's house. They had to wake everyone else up to verify that we had given them the right address, which didn't go over so well with the house's occupants at 2:45.

What a night not to remember.