Bloggystyle -- The Greatest

Mifflin Street Pornography, Part 1
About 30 years ago, some loser hippies in Madison decided to congregate on Mifflin St. to hold a drug induced protest over the Vietnam War. Since their little protest, more sane college students took their venue and decided to turn their little tradition into an intoxication block party.

Fast forward to the present, and Madison's Mifflin Street Block Party is an annually renowned and popular drunk fest for thousands of people across Wisconsin, held on the first Saturday of May. It's so established that the Dean of Students doesn't just acknowledge it, he implores people not to overconsume "alcohol or other drugs" during the party. This year, since the first Saturday comes so late, students actually lobbied to have the block party moved to April 30. Police and the Madison Mayor met and discussed it and actually rescheduled it for the 30th.

Put simply, the Mifflin Street Block Party consists of a bunch of houses with balconies and bands and barrels accumulated in the frontyards and backyards. Every house buys multiple barrels and color coordinate their cups. Cops stand on street corners, making sure everything is controlled chaos.

With a setting like that, it's probably not surprising that Mifflin allows for some absolutely ridiculous antics. And thus this story is just Part 1 of a 2 Part series dealing with Mifflin Street Block Parties.

Main Players


Worst Pizza Hut Customer Ever, Minus the Ogre (of course)


The Gimp


J.W. Stands For Just Watchin.

During our sophomore year, before any of us were 21, the three of us decided to go up to the Block Party because, believe it or not, it beat anything else we could accomplish on a Saturday in the middle of nowhere. Since the thing runs all afternoon, we got up there by the morning.

The only thing we did more than drink during the afternoon was find a way to get booted out of different houses. Somewhere the Gimp stole a football and we kept ourselves somewhat preoccupied throwing it around, until it landed on a roof. At that point I went up onto some random house's balcony only to find that those other two morons had somehow found their way onto the roof next door to get the ball. Instead of coming down, I decided to start dumping beer and water onto people below me. At Mifflin, however, getting expelled from 2 places leaves plenty of other options.

We went through a number of different houses, and at one of them Mad Dog ran into a group of people he went to high school with. Apparently he saw a few potential girls that he wouldn't mind "getting to know a bit better" so at this point he followed them as they were heading away from Mifflin toward the campus's Union Center. Meanwhile the Gimp and I were expelled from yet another house after they found out we were spitting on their windows.

Technically, the Mifflin Street Block Party ends in the late afternoon. Most people go back to their houses and continue to get wasted there. The houses on Mifflin move their operations indoors. For those of us who aren't going back anywhere at that point, options are limited. But somehow, as it was getting dark, the Gimp found his way inside one of the Mifflin houses which was still running multiple kegs on all levels of the house.

It was dark in the house and I actually lost sight of the Gimp on the main floor so I headed downstairs and filled my cup up. About a dozen guys and girls were in the basement as well. Soonafter the Gimp came down the stairs. He had been on the phone with Mad Dog, who had walked miles to the Union Center only to decide to come back to Mifflin St. Since Mad Dog had no idea where the hell he was or how to get anywhere, he walked up to a Pizza Hut deliveryman whose car was parked nearby and asked for directions. When he was clearly too intoxicated to make sense, the deliveryman was nice enough to let Mad Dog hitch a ride, and this guy drove him to Mifflin St. where he would eventually catch up with us.

But while he was on the road, he missed one of the weirdest sights of all time. Seemingly immediately after Gimp had come down the stairs, a skanky looking blonde was standing right in the middle of the room sticking one hand down her pants. When a guy asked her what the fuck she was doing, she said something to the effect of she was feeling for something. The guy then stuck his hand down her pants.

Obviously every guy downstairs turned their attention away from the keg momentarily to watch this. And before you could say "fingering," there was literally a line of guys in front of this bitch, and every single fucking one of them got to stick his hand down her pants and experience her pink "firsthand."

I don't completely remember, but I think the Gimp got his turn in the line. The bitch then looked at me as if I hadn't properly completed the fucking train and I said something like I'm just watchin, I ain't touchin. I hadn't taken enough health classes to know whether or not my hands could contract VD.

Mad Dog caught up with us 15 minutes later, and to his chagrin he had missed some pretty ridiculous antics. Nothing unusual would happen for the rest of that night, but Mad Dog, like the rest of us, would at least be a witness to Part 2 of this series.